This is of huge concern, and is being witnessed across all sectors and workplaces, including in early years settings.
In our new report, we look at the significant national gap between the mental health needs of children and their families, and the help available. Closing this gap will take co-ordinated ideas and collective action. Following a collaboration with services across the North West of England, the report identifies six areas – among many – where there are gaps in mental health support for children and families, but where there is also a wealth of innovation from which we can learn.
One of these identified gaps is the support for new fathers during pregnancy and the first year after birth (often called the perinatal period). Around one in 10 new fathers struggle with their mental health, which not only adversely impacts directly on them, but also on their partner and their children. From pregnancy and through the first year of a child’s life, the focus is often very much on the mother (including through the way we deliver ‘maternity services’) – primarily her physical health and, increasingly, her mental well-being. This is to be welcomed, but should not be to the exclusion of the needs of fathers.
It is sometimes assumed that the importance of a father in a child’s life primarily comes to the fore when they become a toddler, with increasing language development and opportunities for play. While this is crucial, and nursery staff will be well aware of how important the relationship between a father and a young child can be, the evidence is clear that fathers have a huge influence on babies too. If the relationship is unstable (perhaps because the father is suffering from depression), that will be felt. Babies and young children thrive with a “community of support” around them, from their parent or parents, the wider family, and those early years professionals with whom they may spend a large part of their day.
The Anna Freud Centre has been working for some time to understand and address these often unmet mental health needs of fathers.
What can nursery settings do to support the fathers of the children in their care and make progress in this area?
- Don’t make assumptions about the role of fathers
You may have a perception that a father is less "hands on" in a child’s care than the mother, and reinforce this in your interactions with them. Instead, seek to have those same conversations about teething and nappy rash. In the earliest months of a child’s life, that father may have been given the impression that he stands slightly outside of what’s needed, when in fact he is already playing a crucial role, or indeed wishes to be. Encourage and support this where you can.
- Create spaces for fathers to have a say
Fathers often welcome the opportunity to join a supportive space for other fathers, where they can express fears about their own ability to cope, worries about their partner (where they want to support them, but feel unsure how to), and about the changes in their own life brought on by parenthood. Nursery settings often have a predominantly female workforce, and addressing this is key so that young children have male carers too, but those male staff can also perhaps play a part in convening these conversations with fathers.
- Be ready to signpost to sources of support
Fathers can be very open about sharing their concerns, once the space has been provided for this. If nursery staff are able to normalise conversations about how we can all work together to support each child, this can lead to an acknowledgement that one or both parents is struggling. Have an awareness of what local services exist to support families – including, specifically fathers – so that you can be ready to signpost to them. We know that peer support activities are particularly popular, as they can avoid some of the stigma around mental health interventions, which can be felt even more strongly by men.
To be the best care givers to the children in our lives – and to really nurture them – we are best equipped for this task when we look to our own wellbeing, as well as theirs. This applies to early years professionals and families, and it includes fathers too.
Michela Biseo is deputy head of the Early Years Programme (Clinical) at the Anna Freud Centre. She is also a Senior Child and Adolescent Psychotherapist.
