The way we respond to our children will depend on our knowledge of the child, their family and whether they initiate a conversation or are incorporating war themes into their play. Consider the extent of their knowledge, their age and stage of development and how directly this war will impact them.
The following principles might help:
- Remain honest, using factual terms that portray information, avoiding the potential for misunderstandings or stereotyping. Use correct language while remembering their age and stage of development, e.g. ‘war’, ‘fighting’, ‘dead’, etc.
- Listen to children and answer questions honestly and consistently. Never be offended by the directness of a young child’s questions/comments.
- Do not add to children’s anxiety and fears by listening to the news or talking to colleagues in their earshot. Children rely on us for their feelings of safety and security, so reassure them.
- Remain calm when discussing the conflict. Children will pick up on your feelings.
- Do not belittle their concerns but instead acknowledge children’s feelings and accept all emotions.
- Ensure that changes in your setting are kept to a minimum. Familiar surroundings can help a child to remain feeling safe and secure.
- Support children who use playful interactions to explore war and express their feelings, remembering that young children do not yet have a full understanding of what this means.
- Share stories in which a character is involved in war or fighting or provide opportunities for children to create their own narrative.
- Check in with children regularly and monitor their levels of wellbeing and anxiety.
- Work in partnership with parents and carers and share your response to the children and how you will deal with any questions with them.
It would be easy for us in the UK to dismiss a child’s concerns by suggesting this is happening a long way away, however, we will also have children and families who are directly impacted; Russian or Ukrainian children and families, for example, or children whose families are in neighbouring countries or accepting refugees. It is important to practise compassion and empathy. Although likening the Russian army to bullies might be helpful in assisting young children to understand the invasion, remember that it is not the Russian people invading, therefore ensure any comments we make do not add to hate speech or discriminate. Our role is to love, be compassionate to everyone, and help our children feel safe and secure.
