Babies and children need the warmth of a cuddle - it's vital for their social and emotional development and should be appropriate practice, says Jennie Lindon
Helping young children to become aware of their feelings and those of others is an important aspect of social and emotional development. But practitioners should also not overlook the extent to which children need physical closeness as part of their emotional development.
Our skin is amazing. It has millions of nerve cells of various shapes within the different layers. When those nerve cells are stimulated by contact, the energy created passes from the skin via the spinal cord and carries messages to the neurons in the brain. The process happens in a split second and neuroscientists still do not understand entirely how it all works. But what is clear is that humans are strongly affected by touch. Babies and children need regular and affectionate touch to create emotional security and confidence in social communication.
Human babies in deprived circumstances, such as the orphanages revealed in Romania, fail to thrive when their emotional and social needs are not met. There are individual differences between babies about when they simply give up the struggle to get affection from anyone who comes close. However, lack of affectionate physical contact in the early years undermines their future development.
There is no question about it - we need to cuddle babies and children and show that we are available to them. Young children cannot build the basis for pro-social skills and consideration for the feelings of other people, unless they experience having their own emotional needs met. They need physical closeness and touch for comfort when they are distressed or confused. Of course, they need the words and tone of voice as well, but these will not work effectively without the body language from a familiar, caring adult that communicates, 'I am a safe place for you to be.' Under- threes need the shared hug that communicates, 'I'm pleased to see you,' or 'That was fun. Shall we do it again?'
Our youngest children need to be able to snuggle in - the lovely phrase used within Birth to Three Matters. They need us to be emotionally generous in our role as crucial snuggling-in equipment. They also benefit from comfortable spaces that enable under- threes to settle with an adult, or their friends and enjoy being together, often with a book or play materials. But young children also like to snuggle in comfortably and watch what else is happening. Cosy corners can be made using indoor furniture creatively and cushions, rugs and blankets inside and outside.
If early years practitioners are to meet the needs of under-threes for emotional and physical closeness, then some adult worries may need to be addressed, with children's needs as a top priority. For instance, nursery practitioners and childminders are sometimes worried that parents feel uneasy when young children are fond of their out-of-home carer. But shared care means shared affection and parents may need to be reassured that young children can feel emotionally close to several important people in their daily life.
Developmentally appropriate practice is under threat in some places from a misunderstanding about child protection. Young children will learn about appropriate touch and well-behaved adults when they can experience respectful touch and accessible, kindly adults.
I am seriously worried about the well-being of young children in some nurseries I hear about. Something has gone awry when teams feel (or have been told) that they need a 'cuddling policy' and are actively discouraged from cuddling young children. Such adult behaviour will not protect children. On the contrary, when adults withdraw from physical contact or ration cuddles, young children are at greater risk in the future because they will then be emotionally needy.
