Q: Many of the parents of children who attend full days in nursery do not want their children to sleep during the day. We are finding it hard to keep them awake, but the parents get cross if we tell them they have slept. How can we explain to parents that they do need a sleep? We are finding it difficult to manage the behaviour of children in the afternoons because they are so tired. These children are between 12 and 30 months.
A: These problems don't have easy answers. However, a starting point is some detective work. You need to find out why the parents don't want the children to sleep during the day. A possible reason is that they think the child will be difficult to settle and not want to sleep at night.
The perceived problem could be made even worse if they have other children with different bedtimes, or if the parents work shifts. Bedtime may be fraught with children reluctant to settle and/or waking in the night, and parents may feel that a daytime nap is to blame.
However, most children in this age range do still need a nap during the day. Most children lose the need for a morning nap by around 18 months, but the need for an afternoon nap may persist up until around five years old. Even at three years old many children can 'nap' for up to one and a half hours, and a child of about a year may sleep for around two to three hours during the day.
Denying or preventing a nap is counterproductive. It can lead to an overtired child - fractious, miserable and in no mood to settle - but also cause more disturbed sleep at night, resulting in exhausted children and adults alike.
An important 'caveat' is that naps should not be too late in the day, as this will interfere with the child's night-time sleep rhythms.
Of course, no child should be 'forced' into having a nap if they genuinely seem not to want to sleep, but all children will benefit from a period of quiet time when they can rest. A very young child may say they are not tired, but if the atmosphere is conducive to quiet and this is part of the daily routine, their bodily needs will probably take over.
Signs of sleepiness vary between children. Some are more obvious, like rubbing eyes, but others, such as fussing or crying, pulling on their ears or even appearing to 'space out', are all signs of getting tired.
Bear it in mind
Perhaps it will be helpful if you can give the parents some information about the need for sleep and the importance of a bedtime routine that allows the child to settle to sleep in a peaceful way.
Tips could include:
- A child should be put to bed when drowsy so that they are already prepared for sleep.
- Noise and excitement close to bedtime stimulates a child further.
- Food containing proteins acts as a stimulant and perhaps gives some truth to the old adage not to eat cheese just before bedtime!
- The child's sleep patterns are set by the type of routines the parents establish, or not, and how aware they have been of a need for a routine and the individual child's signals for sleep.
- Every child has a distinctive sleep pattern which follows a fairly consistent rhythm throughout the 24-hour cycle. This is why a child may appear to need more or less sleep than their sibling.
- Any illness or disruptions or upsets can also affect a child's sleep pattern.
To sum up, discovering why parents are concerned, and finding out their attitudes and understanding of the child's need for sleep, will help you talk through with them the reality that most children in this age range need their nap. Then, together, you can help establish sleeping patterns that meet the needs of the child.
FURTHER READING
- National Sleep Foundation (America) website: www.sleepfoundation.org. This offers downloadable advice sheets.
- Sunderland, M, (2006) The Science of Parenting (Dorling Kindersley) has a whole chapter on sleep: pp66-82
- Robinson, M, (2008) Development from Birth to Eight, pp 81-84, gives information about sleep, dream sleep and rhythms of sleep
If you have a behaviour query for Maria please e-mail it to: annette.rawstrone@haymarket.com, or write to the address on p15
Maria Robinson is an early years consultant and author of From Birth to One and Child Development from Birth to Eight: A journey through the early years (Open University Press). Her Nursery World series on child development can be bought online at: www.nurseryworld.co.uk/Books.
