Positive relationships: Ask the expert ... Boys and girls

I care for a four-year-old boy who seems to have become very aware of gender recently. I have a wide range of resources, but where a year ago he was happy to play with the prams and in the home corner, he now says that's for "girlie girls". He is more interested in aliens and acting out cartoons. He does not often play with girls and says that "boys are better". Is this a normal stage of development, or has something sparked this attitude change? He is an only child.'

This issue can become very tangled because the concept of gender has become so embroiled with people's concerns about promoting, supporting or reinforcing stereotypes. Linked with these concerns are worries to do with attitudes and perceptions towards either gender. However, while accepting that the attitudes of adults towards the behaviour of girls and boys will have an effect on the child's own gender-related perceptions, it is important that we 'stand back' and untangle whatever biological and cognitive predispositions might exist. This will help us consider whether this boy's change in attitude is a reflection of early 'stereotyping', or highlights an important and necessary phase in his development. Perhaps this change is part of a voyage of discovery into his essential 'boyness'.