Positive Relationships: A parent's guide to ... Gender

Imagine the scene. Two children go into a toy shop. The little girl heads immediately for the shelves laden with pink toys. The little boy soon finds the cars and dinosaurs. He picks up a clockwork dinosaur and starts to play with it. The little girl comes over and watches with interest. 'Would you like one of those?' enquires the parent. 'No,' says the girl, 'they're only for boys.'

While this little scenario is not true for all children, many parents do report that their children have strong play and toy preferences that split along gender lines. Why might this be?

A good starting point is to understand that many children from around the age of three will start to explore what it means to be of their gender. This is part of their overall development in terms of learning about self. In terms of why this extends to children's toy preferences, there are several theoretical perspectives. As with all interesting elements of child development, the jury is out as to whether we are seeing nature or nurture at work. Could it be that children instinctively choose certain toys that hark back to 'Stone Age' gender roles, or could it be that children choose the toys based on social expecations given via the product's colour, adult approval and peer pressure?