During Covid, I was struck by the number of parents who expressed surprise about how their children as young as two were missing their friends. They had not realised that friendships were so important to very young children. Being able to build friendships from the early years is hugely impactful on our adult lives and nurturing quality friendships is the single best predictor for our psychological wellbeing and health.
Friendships are built on trust and therefore we need to create consistency and warm, kind, positive and reassuring relationships with each other. Children are watchers and observers – they notice things and can immediately sense any tension or stress in the atmosphere, particularly in the way we behave and talk to each other. The tone of voice we use, our gestures, choice of words, how we respect personal space and create small acts of kindness and courtesy all communicate to children the skills needed for good interpersonal relationships.
How do we help children make friends?
Sometimes we focus on activities to support learning, but actually their routine is a very sensible place to start. Helpful ideas include:
- Create a visual timetable around kind behaviour that includes some Makaton signs.
- Introduce golden rules to encourage acting kindly.
- Play name games so children learn each other's names.
- Use routine activities that build friendships, such as helping a friend tidy up, providing comfort if they need a tissue, helping to get a toy or explaining something.
- Introduce circle time or show and tell.
- Share songs and books about friends.
- Encourage conversations at mealtimes.
- Help children to listen to each other and pay attention to shy children. Helicopter activities, such as acting out a story in a formal circle, are brilliant for building trust, confidence and friends.
Generally, co-operative games are great for building relationships, whether board games or organised fun physical games such as ‘pass the parcel’, etc.
Never underestimate the power of friendships and our role in helping develop them across the setting.
FURTHER READING
- @JuneOSullivan
- Think Feel Do: A Wellbeing Handbook for Early Years Staffby June O’Sullivan and Lala Manners
- 50 Fantastic Ideas to Encourage Diversity and Inclusion by June O’Sullivan and Nausheen Khan
