Nursery World - A Unique Child: Practice in pictures

Young children can cope with minor stresses and anxieties if they feel secure in their relationship with their carer, as Anne O'Connor explains.

Leila and mum are together at home. Mum bangs her foot and Leila responds by calling her a 'silly mummy' when she sees that mum is OK. They both laugh together about it.

When a young child is securely attached, they can begin to appreciate that their caregivers can have feelings and needs of their own. As Leila is quickly reassured that mum is OK, she is able to respond in an affectionate, jokey way that is appropriate to the situation and which she will have experienced herself in other contexts.

Then Leila wants mum to read her a book. But mum insists that they tidy up first. Leila is able to accept this and begins to tidy up. She is secure enough to be able to accept that sometimes what she wants has to be negotiated and deferred for a while. There is evidence in this sequence of the real partnership that can begin to develop when secure attachment is established.

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